Some Days...

I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything new. Some days you just don't feel funny. I know I'm supposed to fill this blog with my own personal brand of smart ass comedic ramblings. I just haven't felt funny lately. It's not like something you turn on and off, I'm not a trained seal. In fact, on the days I don't feel funny, I feel down right mean. The "kick the walker out from under the old person kind of mean". I know not everyone has that kind of temperament, but I do. And luckily those that love me and have to live near me, have learned how to handle me.

I know every one's feeling stressed in these rough economic times. I know I'm not the only one that's going around "perpetually pissy". I just don't want to deal with anyone else who is. I was at the grocery store yesterday. I had my list and my coupons and I'm trundling up and down the isles trying to focus my 3 second attention span on my list. I pulled my cart off to the side and while I was sifting thru my coupons I noticed out of the corner of my eye and old lady standing behind me. Just standing there. Watching me. My Mom then says "Are we in your way?" and the lady smiles and goes past while I shoot her a "I hope you slip and fall in the produce isle" look. This pissed me off, and I stewed over it the rest of the grocery trip. If she wanted past me why didn't she just say so? Was she trying to send me some type of Vulcan mind message that I was supposed to get? I hate those people. Now it's a crusade of mine, if you get behind me in the grocery store, I WILL NOT MOVE, you are going to have stop assuming that I'm getting your mental messages and actually use your vocal cords and say excuse me or we're gonna be there the entire time I stand there and sift thru my damn coupons. Period.

The other endlessly irritating grocery store behavior is the people who stop in the middle of everything and chat with other people. They clog up the whole damn isle playing chatty patty catch up. In this modern age of technology, can't they communicate in any other form or fashion than blocking the isle in front of me? I have a cell phone that allows me to e-mail my sister what I had for lunch to day in the next state away. These fools can't talk anywhere else but the middle of the damn grocery store? I'm on a mission dammit, I'm here to get my shit and get the hell outta there,period. I do not use the grocery store as a social event. I have enough going on. In fact, even if I know you, or am related to you, if I see you in the grocery store, I may or may not acknowledge you. It all depends on the level of irritation I have at the moment from my current shopping experience.

My children say I'm not a "people person" . I figure I'm as friendly as the next person, just don't piss me off. I don't like crowds, and it's a guarantee that the more people are in the store, the higher my irritation level will go. I don't like being stared at either,contrary to popular belief I didn't get tattoos and color my hair so I'd get attention. I can handle a stare or two, maybe a comment, but after that, I'm wanting to pull your eyeballs out your ass if you look at me sideways. I still have no idea why my kids friends are afraid of me. I'm a pretty easygoing person really, just don't say hi to me in the grocery store.