Self Check-Out: Time Saver or Personal Hell?

I do admit that the idea of personal check-outs are spot on. They seem to be a time saver and you don't have to stand there listening to the teenage cashier chomp on gum, or some older person discuss their bathroom habits. So when my local store updated their check outs with a few I was ready to try one. I was married at the time and my ex wanted to help with it. He started putting things on the twelve inch long conveyer while I tried to scan the items. The next thing I knew, we're in a power struggle for who's doing it correctly. He then started pushing buttons that sent out the little signal for an associate to come to your aid. By the time the associate got to our check out, we were in an all out fight over who did something wrong and who's fault this was and so on.

That was the last time I used a self checkout. I've been single for three years. Enough time to forget the ordeal of the self check out. This past weekend I got my nephew over night. He wanted pizza and candy so we did a store run. I saw the self check out and decided to give it another try. We loaded the pizzas, the bag of candy, and two gallons of milk on the conveyer belt that looked like it was only ten inches long. I hit the button to start, and a very friendly female voice welcomed me to the store and asked me to scan my first item. I scanned the candy, it went fine, I dropped it in the bag. I then grabbed the milk and scanned it, dropped it in the bag, the female voice instructed me to put the item in the bagging area. I answered, to the screen, that the milk WAS in the bagging area. I picked the milk up and kind of dropped it on the bagging area, thinking that might help with the sensors. It didnt work. I was getting angry.

I then just chose the option on the screen to skip the bagging. When I scanned the other gallon of milk, I got the same message. I then picked the milk up and dropped it on the bagging area again. This set off some sensor and my screen said an associate would be over to assist me. I waited and waited, and by the time I'd had enough and starting pushing buttons, the associate arrived. We laughed it off, and she hit a few buttons on the screen, scanned her name tag, and we were ready to scan the pizzas.

I tried scanning the pizza. It beeped and informed me the item was not a valid item. I tried swiping it over a few more times. Same friendly, pleasant, ever annoying female voice instructed me to manually enter the sku number from the back of the package. I did this. By this time my daughter is announcing in a very outdoor voice that all the other people have already gone thru their check outs. And that we are slower than the normal cashier operated fast lane. I kindly tell her thru my clenched teeth that this was much faster and we were doing just fine.

While I was re-assuring my daughter, my nephew grabbed the pizza box and was attempting to scan it. He then began aggressively muttering something that sounded like Italian swear words. I told him to relax and let me handle this. I tried entering in the sku number for the pizza again and again I got the same message. This set off yet another alarm that the associate answered in a pretty timely manner. There was considerable less laughing this time when the associate came to scan her name tag and hit some buttons. She did this and it registered the pizza. I thought wonderful! If only there was a duplicate button I could hit to hurry up and cut our suffering and scan the second pizza. No such luck. I tried the second pizza, and I got the same error message as before. My daughter then yanks the pizza box out of my hand and begins banging it on the little glass screen. I assure her this will not help while I'm wrestling the pizza box out of her hand. I save myself time and just waive the associate down myself. She comes over, scans the pizza and hits the button to finish and pay.

I was able to at least pay for the items we were unable to scan. I gather the bags, wishing I'd included some beer in the items. I decide again that the self check out just does not work for me. For some reason, I see every one else scanning and paying for their things and getting the hell out of the grocery store alot faster than I do. I've come to accept this. I've accepted the fact that there are some things in life that we just aren't meant to master. I've added self check outs right under hang gliding.